Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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