Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
