The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
