We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize