She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
