That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
