Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
