It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
