Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
