I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize