John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
