And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
