Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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