Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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