someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
