Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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