He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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