Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
