i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
