C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
