Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
