tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
