Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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