that's an acceptable place to lick
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
