I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
