everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
