I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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