Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
