i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
