All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
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