I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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