oh god the rape fog is back!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
