Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
