The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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