I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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