bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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