My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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