I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
