Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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