You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
