I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
