What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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