I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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