What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
