Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
