I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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