i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
