well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
