My liver just broke up with me...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
