I heard we made out
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
