I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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