this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
