he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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