oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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