So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
