Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
