I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
