So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
