She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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