guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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